Grief, Loss & Bereavement Counselling in Newcastle

Grief and loss can leave you devastated. Following the death of a loved one, many of us are unprepared for the emotions that follow. Grief counselling helps by offering a safe space to navigate deep feelings of loss and supports you to begin to move forwards again: Phone 01915805080 or email for support.

Help with My Loss & Grief

Therapy helps you to understand and work through the grieving process. It provides the time and a safe therapeutic space to mourn your loss while understanding the feelings and experiences that arise.

“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.” Colette

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The Effects of Grief, Bereavement or Loss On Your Mental Health:

Physical Symptoms

Sleeplessness – often we have difficulty sleeping or vivid dreams as our brains try to process what has happened.
Change of appetite – nausea or stomach upset and appetite is often suppressed.
Tightness and heaviness in chest/throat – an “unnatural” feeling, sometimes feeling constrained or carrying extra load.
Dizziness, headaches – similar symptoms to stress
Stress hormones, catecholamine release – (dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine – adrenaline), and increased sympathetic nervous system stimulation (ref.).

Psychological Symptoms

Numbness – not feeling anything as you “shut down” emotionally
Relief – for example, where someone has been caring for an ill relative over a period of time, it is very normal to feel relief at their passing.
Anger – a difficult but common reaction to loss. In simple terms, we hurt when something precious is taken away.
Guilt – when someone is no longer with us, it may be that we have things unsaid or actions not carried out which we regret and can feel as guilt.

Behavioural Symptoms

Social withdrawal – frequently, as we have been emotionally overwhelmed, we may withdraw from others. This is normal, but if it continues, support is often needed.
Loss of motivation – it is common to feel low mood or lack of drive following loss.
Irritability with others – we can become irritable and moody around others.

These difficult feelings may not always be present. They can appear unexpectedly or feel overwhelming at times. It’s also common to feel confused, as it may not be easy to recognise when grief, bereavement, or loss are the reasons behind your feelings or behaviour.

How you are affected by your loss and the grief that comes with it is as unique as you are.

Please call us

Please get in touch and arrange to talk to one of our grief therapists about bereavement counselling and grief counselling in Newcastle/online – Phone 01915805080 or email.

Understanding your grief reaction and gaining insights helps with both coping strategies and facilitates treatment for loss. We have put together a helpful researched guide below:

Loss: Coping Strategies

Grief Counselling, Reflexions

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Although most people recover from bereavement within a year, 40% may require some form of psychosocial support.
Killikelly

Why do we find this ‘natural’ experience of loss so difficult? Sometimes, the wave of emotion can feel overwhelming and difficult to bear. Equally, you may find yourself feeling isolated, as though no one could possibly understand your experience.

The intensity of the grieving. Your normal coping mechanisms get overwhelmed.
The duration of the grief period is excessive. You don’t seem to be recovering, and the upset doesn’t end, leaving you feeling helpless/hopeless.
An unexpected/strong grief reaction happens years later “out of the blue”. Triggers and changes in your situation allow your grief to come out.

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Common Situations Giving Feelings of Deep Sadness

Miscarriage and abortion
Death of a much-loved pet
Loss of job status, redundancy
Divorce or relationship break-up.
Loss of possessions
Changes of self-identity – due to sexual abuse, assault, menopause, injury, health deterioration
Death of a loved one

If loss is unresolved, it can lead to other difficulties such as depression, anxiety, anger or insomnia. You may have issues with addiction or alcohol use. Bereavement and loss can also cause you to struggle in day-to-day activities, or in your work, health, or relationship.

Understanding The Process of Grieving: The 5 Stages of Grief

Although there are no easy answers in counselling for grief, it is normal to move through a process of grieving the loss and to end in acceptance. This process, the “5 Stages of Grief”, was first discussed by Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying. They provide a framework for the thoughts, behaviours, and emotions that are often experienced with loss.

5 Stages of Grief:

Denial – the time of grieving during which you refuse to accept the reality of a situation.
Anger – anger is a representation of your loss and can present itself in a wide range of different ways.
Bargaining – This stage is where we say “if only I…” or “What if…”. During the bargaining stage of grief, you attempt to negotiate or make compromises – sometimes with God if you are religious. If you do this thing, then this wouldn’t have happened or will not have happened.
Depression – This is the (often intense) feelings of sadness and hopelessness resulting from the loss.
Acceptance – In time, the pain of loss is reduced, and you are able to “grow around” your grief, finding enjoyment again whilst acknowledging that you will always feel sad for the loss.

In practice, this is rather a “messy process”, as we recycle the stages in a random order as we try to work through our loss.

During this process of dealing with and working through our loss, maintaining contact with people is important in your grief recovery, and you should do this as soon as you feel able – even though this is often very hard.

Can Counselling for Bereavement Help Me?

Grief and bereavement counselling helps you to cope with your loss, and this is a very common reason for seeking therapy. You can also experience a grief reaction and mourning not only after the passing of a loved one but also on the loss of something significant to you, such as a relationship, the loss of work, or retirement. Some common situations are listed below:

In short, Grief therapy can help you to:

Understand your feelings of grief
Develop coping strategies to cope with your loss
Gain support through your grief reactions and acceptance of loss

Taking the Next Step for Bereavement Counselling

The grieving process can sometimes be a lengthy and tough journey, and therapy can support you through this emotional period, providing a safe and supportive environment in which you feel able to express your most painful feelings.

At Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy, we can help you move forward. If you are struggling with loss, contact us to arrange a conversation with one of our bereavement therapists regarding grief counselling in Newcastle. You can reach us by phone at 01915805080 or via email.

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Reflecting on Loss:

“When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Kahlil Gibran

Resources and Self-Help for Bereavement Counselling

There are a wide range of on-line resources and books available to support you in your loss. A small selection is listed below:

Cruise – National charity supporting the bereaved. This takes you to the links page, which has a wide range of resources.
Dying Matters – Dying Matters supports those who are preparing for death themselves or who are caring for someone who is nearing death. The information on the site is of great help for those really “difficult to talk about” areas of death and what is to come.
Childhood Bereavement Network – This is a site which provides advice and support for those that are helping children who are coping with the death of a parent, sibling or someone close to them.
NHS Choices – This is the NHS site which offers helpful advice on coping following loss and bereavement.

Books:

How We Grieve: Relearning the World by Thomas Attig
Attig recounts real-life tales to present the challenges facing dealing with loss. This really helps to accept that loss is uniquely experienced.
Overcoming Grief by Sue Morris
A Cognitive Behavioural self-help book giving you practical steps to help you cope with your grief.
Miscarriage: Women Sharing from the Heart, by Marie Allen & Shelley Marks
A compilation of over 100 stories of US women talking about their experiences. This book is rather old now but still relevant for today. – Advice for partners, family and professionals

Bereavement Therapy & Grief Counselling