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OCD Series: Stop Negative Thoughts – 2 Methods that Help

Persistent Thoughts Solved. Method 1:  4 L’s: Look, Label, Let-it-pass, Leave

This simple method works well with persistent, troublesome thoughts as it recognises that we are not the thought, it is something separate from us.

Ruminating Thoughts
Stopping Ruminating

Look – observe it

Label – it (fear of whatever), then

Let-it-pass –Watch it as it passes by, avoiding making a judgement about it (e.g. good/bad)

Leave – shift your attention to what you were doing (internal focus shift to external focus such as listening to the radio, making tea..)

Racing Thoughts Solved: Method 2 – The Bus

Imagine that you are driving along the Road of Life as the driver of your own bus. Like any normal bus journey, you stop along the way to collect passengers and let them off. It’s a fairly busy bus with people of all ages, shapes and sizes getting on and off.

Racing Thoughts Technique – The Bus

In your mind, take each thought or feeling in turn and make it into real passengers on your bus. Use both current and past memories, body states, memories or even fantasies. Of course, some people on the bus will be positive and friendly, whilst others will be annoying or obnoxious. Others may simply be repetitive.    

Some of these passengers (thoughts) are really quite positive: “My children are lovely….”  But a whole lot of them all together?  Perhaps not as much. And then you have the negative ones: bullying, blaming, shaming – “Don’t do it, you’ll show yourself up”, “Everyone knows, you’re really just a looser,” “Why bother?” “You’ll never succeed anyway, why start?”. These troublesome passengers are trying to make themselves heard, telling you how to drive, “Turn left, pull over there, speed up, slow down.”

So, driver, what do you do?  You could try to ignore, disagree, or tell them to be quiet. You can even try to be logical and reason with them.  However, by now you are not even driving the bus, any more, all you’re doing is trying to deal with your difficult passengers – and because there are some really troublesome ones, or lots of them, or both, they are going to take a lot of your attention. They even try to convince you that, if you listen to them, and obey them, do what they say, well maybe they might give you a bit of peace.

Overthinking: The Solution?

You are the driver and the passengers can’t make you do anything you don’t want. Are you going to let them take control?  Its surely better to simply keep driving the bus, making the stops you choose, moving towards the destination you want.

This technique helps with rumination and being stuck in feelings as it uses the fact that we see other people as different and separate from us. We can use this to help with gaining both acceptance of difficult feelings and separation from our thoughts and feelings. “We are not our thoughts”.  We act (drive the bus) despite everything.

Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a wide range of issues. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .

Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. You are advised to seek specialist support. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Ken McLeish BA DMS MBA MSc MSc Cert Ed UKCP Reg
Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy
Alderman Fenwicks House, NE1 6SQ
0191 5805080
https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk

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Coronavirus Isolation Coping Tips

Coronavirus Isolation Tips

Coronavirus has brought in self-isolating or simply being “locked-down” to our daily lives, challenging our emotional well-being. Simply being in a confined space over long periods of time with our loved ones can be difficult to endure. Here are some coping tips and techniques to help you to deal effectively with the stress, anxiety, and worries that can happen through Covid-19 isolation.

News Desk

Too much news is bad news! The human mind is very poorly adapted to coping with the constant drama and visual stimuli that comes with 24/7, constantly on, “hyped” news stories. So much so, that it can trigger our brain’s threat system and that threat system can remain on, leaving us with strong feeling of anxiety or unease. If you are having difficult sleeping and cannot seem to relax, are you simply plugged in to too much news?

What to Do?

If this sounds like you, simply limit yourself to one news “fix” each day from a source you trust. That will allow you to keep track of enough of what is happening world-wide. Less is often more and this will allow your thread system to reset, and you to avoid feeling drained and exhausted

Regular Routines and Parallel Universes

Like most of us, you probably used to have a pretty regular pattern for the day – getting up roughly at the same time, having a morning routine, and even often the regular commute or school run? We tend to look for and follow patterns much as the earth itself has cycles of day and night. Our current situation can seem almost surreal, like a different but parallel universe in which we can lose our way.   Dysregulation–What at first appears as a great work-at-home opportunity for a late start in the morning can rapidly become a sloth-like, up-hill challenge of motivation.

What to Do?

Set your own routine. Some people find that wearing your work clothes and starting on time helps. For others it is writing down a daily plan which includes breaks and time for exercise and lunch. Find your rhythm and it helps to keep your mood positive.

Compassion and Kindness

Did you perhaps get caught in the feelings of panic buying earlier in the year? We are programmed to pick up each other’s collective feelings and it is so difficult not to get swept along with “the crowd”. At times like these we can become trapped into selfish behaviour, thinking at the expense of others.

What to Do

A great antidote for this is to show compassion or be kind to someone. It could be someone that you know who would benefit from shopping being delivered or even a family member who you could be supportive of by an unexpected call or video chat. Even petting your dog can help you to reconnect.

Mindfulness Matters

We can often be trapped inside our own heads as our thoughts travel like sheep along well-worn pathways of worry. We can tend to live inside our own heads.

What to do?

Try switching from an internal focus of your own thoughts to an external – notice the ticking of the clock in the room, the splash of sunlight through the blinds or even the noise of the rain on the window pane. If you have some flowers in the room or the garden concentrate on their beauty or their scent.  Make a habit of taking time to notice. You can walk the same path a thousand times and always notice something different.

Talking is Good!

If you find that you are struggling, and are feeling low and depressed or anxious – that is normal in these anxious times. However, it doesn’t help to keep these feelings or thoughts trapped inside you.

What to Do?

Find someone to speak to and share your feelings. The best friends to choose are someone who is non-judgemental, a friend or someone in the family is ideal. The Samaritans can be an excellent resource or Childline if you are under 16. Professionals are on hand and you can now access Therapy on-line.

Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a range of issues including addictions. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .

Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. You are advised to seek specialist support if you are feeling overwhelmed. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.

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OCD Series: How to Stop Overthinking – concentration method

Stopping Overthinking

Why will this help me?

Quite simply, better concentration helps you to fully focus on the activity at hand, making you more productive and relaxed. This type of training means that your mind tends not to wander off down the dark path of unhelpful thoughts, obsession and overthinking. Concentration exercises are also quick and with practices starting at 4 minutes per day, they are fairly easy to fit into the busiest schedule. These exercises are associated with other techniques such as relaxation – see Progressive Muscular Relaxation (PMR).

Step-by-Step Exercises to Stop Overthinking.

  1. All you need is somewhere comfortable to sit where you can be by yourself.
  2. Begin with the first exercise- repeat once a day until you’re able to do it confidently without any interruptions for at least three minutes.  After a few weeks of practice you can increase the time to 15 minutes.

Becoming fully comfortable and confident with these exercises can take anywhere from a few days to a few months so take your time and try not to push yourself too hard at first.  If you’re finding it difficult to keep focussed, do not worry as this is very common. Everyone’s experiences vary and eventually you will be able to perform these exercises without becoming distracted. The key is to remain cool, calm and collected.

Learning Point:

It is important to be honest with yourself. Fully attend to the exercises and avoid thinking about anything else. If you do find yourself becoming distracted, stop the exercise and start again at least until the 10 or 15 minutes that you have set for yourself has lapsed

Once you’ve become confident in your accuracy, increase the time and when possible add a second session.For example, add an additional week of practice to each one.

The Concentration Challenges

Begin by doing the first task for 4 minutes. Once that is completed, move onto doing the rest of the exercises for 10 minutes, choosing a quiet place and time in which to do so. Only move onto the next exercise once you’ve completed the previous one. If you are disrupted or become distracted, start the exercise over again.

Exercise 1
Choose a paragraph from a book and then count the words in it. Stop, and then repeat. If you’ve counted the same number of words both times, repeat the counting process but this time with two paragraphs.  Once you’re confident in your ability to carry out this exercise, count the words of an entire page. Count mentally and only using your eyes.

Exercise 2
Count Backwords in your mind from 100 to 1 in 3’s. I.e. 100, 97, 94 to 1.

Exercise 3
Begin by picking a simple sound or inspiring word. Then repeat it silently in your mind for 5 minutes. Once you find it easy to concentrate on only doing this, repeat the exercise for up to 10 minutes without interruption.

Exercise 4
Select a fruit of your choice, then pick it up and hold it in your hands. Closely examine it- its smell, the way it feels and its taste. Concentrate on that taste without letting any other thoughts distract you.

Exercise 5
This is similar to exercise 4, however after 2 minutes of examining the fruit (as you did in exercise 4) put it down and close your eyes. Then, try to see, smell, taste and touch the fruit in your imagination. Try to imagine the fruit as clearly as possible. If the picture becomes distorted, open your eyes and look at the fruit for a little while, and then close your eyes and continue with the exercise.

Exercise 6
Pick up something small and simple such as a spoon or fork and concentrate on it. Observe the object from all angles without thinking of any words that relate to it, i.e. without verbalisation/saying the words.

Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a wide range of issues. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .

Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. You are advised to seek specialist support. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Ken McLeish BA DMS MBA MSc MSc Cert Ed UKCP Reg
Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy
Alderman Fenwicks House, NE1 6SQ
0191 5805080

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Less Stressed & Less Anxious

Two Steps to Feel More In-Control and Less Stressed

Feeling stressed and anxious at times – you’re not alone. Feelings of stress and anxiousness are more common than not in our busy lives.
Stressed Anxiouis
Maintaining that crucial balance between work and life whilst at the same time trying to multitask what seems like an endless stream of jobs, can at times seem rather overpowering, and can lead to overwhelming emotions.

How do I cope? The answer might be simpler and less time consuming than you think:  Whenever these feelings and emotions present themselves try these two simple steps:

  • Two-Step Control
  1. Without changing your regular breathing, count your breaths from 1 up to 10 – 1 being breathing in and 2 being breathing out and so on.
  2. Keeping going, in your mind now concentrate on the sound of counting the numbers themselves. If you begin to notice your thoughts intruding – simply acknowledge them and let them go. Then refocus back on the counting.

Completing these two steps doesn’t need lots of time. You can have a calm and peaceful mind in as little as 1 minute, perhaps even on your way to the next busy part of your day. Alternatively, you can choose to take as much time as you need. That is the best part about this exercise- you are in total control of your time in this part of your day.

This article is first in the series, of less-stress, tips to a better life articles. I hope that you enjoyed it and found it useful.

Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy helps clients to live life fully. We use a range of creative and traditional techniques to help you to sort out key issues in your lives in an efficient and effective manner.

 

Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a range of issues including addictions. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .

Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. You are advised to seek specialist support for treatment for addictions. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Ken McLeish BA DMS MBA MSc MSc Cert Ed UKCP Reg
Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy
Alderman Fenwicks House, NE1 6SQ
0191 5805080
https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk