Making Couples Counselling Work
Close relationships bring out the best and worst in us as we often get into cycles of repetitive behaviour with our partners. Relationship Counselling is very helpful in identifying these patterns, their origins and then helping you to replace the negatives with positive experiences. These Top-Ten Tips are some areas to think about to help to make your couples counselling work for you.
To make relationship counselling work you have to invest in it. This means that you need to do it for yourself. Don’t waste your money or time on counselling if you are not prepared to put the effort required in.
Be Real & True to Yourself
Be honest with your couples counsellor or therapist. Therapists aren’t mind readers, and we have to go with what you are able to share. Therapy can’t fix issues that stay secret.It won’t help if you try to fool the therapist or yourselves.
Your therapist may recommend “homework” So just do it! Clients who complete homework between sessions progress faster.
Keep regular therapy appointments. It’s important to show up.
Be Prepared to Change:
Only you can change yourself. Similarly, because you cannot make someone else change, it is helpful to recognise that it is your partner’s responsibility to change themselves.
Pick your therapist Carefully:
Both you and your partner need to feel comfortable with the marital or couples counsellor that you choose.
Cheating and Betrayal
It is certainly possible to rebuild a successful relationship or marriage after a partner has cheated – but continuing an affair whilst in therapy is a waste of everyone’s time.
Couples Therapy is not magical mumbo jumbo but about practical steps to identify and work through the issues that you have in your relationship in order to make your relationship grow. However, like voodoo, it really won’t work if you don’t believe it will.
Voice your concerns
A therapy session with a couples counsellor is the perfect place to talk about issues that you normally have trouble talking about.
Couple’s therapists value this and won’t be shocked by what you might say
Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a range of issues including couples counselling and marital therapy. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .
Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.
Ken McLeish BA DMS MBA MSc MSc Cert Ed UKCP Reg
Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy
Cuthbert House, NE6 5RD
More resources can be found on Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy Couples page:Couples Counselling Resources