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OCD Series: Stop Negative Thoughts – 2 Methods that Help

Persistent Thoughts Solved. Method 1:  4 L’s: Look, Label, Let-it-pass, Leave

This simple method works well with persistent, troublesome thoughts as it recognises that we are not the thought, it is something separate from us.

Ruminating Thoughts
Stopping Ruminating

Look – observe it

Label – it (fear of whatever), then

Let-it-pass –Watch it as it passes by, avoiding making a judgement about it (e.g. good/bad)

Leave – shift your attention to what you were doing (internal focus shift to external focus such as listening to the radio, making tea..)

Racing Thoughts Solved: Method 2 – The Bus

Imagine that you are driving along the Road of Life as the driver of your own bus. Like any normal bus journey, you stop along the way to collect passengers and let them off. It’s a fairly busy bus with people of all ages, shapes and sizes getting on and off.

bus 690508 1920
Racing Thoughts Technique – The Bus

In your mind, take each thought or feeling in turn and make it into real passengers on your bus. Use both current and past memories, body states, memories or even fantasies. Of course, some people on the bus will be positive and friendly, whilst others will be annoying or obnoxious. Others may simply be repetitive.    

Some of these passengers (thoughts) are really quite positive: “My children are lovely….”  But a whole lot of them all together?  Perhaps not as much. And then you have the negative ones: bullying, blaming, shaming – “Don’t do it, you’ll show yourself up”, “Everyone knows, you’re really just a looser,” “Why bother?” “You’ll never succeed anyway, why start?”. These troublesome passengers are trying to make themselves heard, telling you how to drive, “Turn left, pull over there, speed up, slow down.”

So, driver, what do you do?  You could try to ignore, disagree, or tell them to be quiet. You can even try to be logical and reason with them.  However, by now you are not even driving the bus, any more, all you’re doing is trying to deal with your difficult passengers – and because there are some really troublesome ones, or lots of them, or both, they are going to take a lot of your attention. They even try to convince you that, if you listen to them, and obey them, do what they say, well maybe they might give you a bit of peace.

Overthinking: The Solution?

You are the driver and the passengers can’t make you do anything you don’t want. Are you going to let them take control?  Its surely better to simply keep driving the bus, making the stops you choose, moving towards the destination you want.

This technique helps with rumination and being stuck in feelings as it uses the fact that we see other people as different and separate from us. We can use this to help with gaining both acceptance of difficult feelings and separation from our thoughts and feelings. “We are not our thoughts”.  We act (drive the bus) despite everything.

Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a wide range of issues. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .

Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. You are advised to seek specialist support. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.

Ken McLeish BA DMS MBA MSc MSc Cert Ed UKCP Reg
Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy
Alderman Fenwicks House, NE1 6SQ
0191 5805080
https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk

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Stopping Addictions: Breathing and PMR – Rewiring Brian 3

Left & Right Brain FunctionsAddictions: Coping Strategies – Rewiring Brian Part 3

In Stopping Addictions pt 1, we looked at  addictions research which demonstrated that the brain’s capability to learn is based upon what we “feed” it. This is true for porn addictions as much as sexting or other compulsions. Through feeding it our addictions this leads our brain to learn powerful but unhelpful neural connections. This then leaves you with wiring “faults” and a “Brian” instead of a brain. These neural connections create links between your feelings, thinking and behaviour and it is these patterns that we call addiction and why it is difficult to stop.

Quite simply, to get new habits you need new connections.

Relaxation helps Rewiring your Brain

This brings us to some techniques which you can use to help you to “rewire”. We looked at 3 techniques in part 2 Stopping Addictions pt 2, of this series. The next technique is a combination technique. Firstly, Progressive Muscular Relaxation (PMR) is great to use as, not only does it provide you with a distraction technique  in itself  but it feels great to do and gives you health benefits. PMR is one of the easiest ways to relax and it’s really pretty quick to learn. Even better, when combined with a simple breathing technique and visualisation you get something really very powerful at your service.

PMR

These relaxation exercises have been very widely used and  whilst they might indicate a tight muscle they should not cause you any pain to undertake. If you feel in any pain simply stop. Equally, if you have any concerns about your health see your GP.

It is easiest to start from your feet and work up to your head. Hold each stretch moderately hard for about 13 seconds and then relax, feeling the difference between your state of tension and relaxation. At you feel the relaxation tell yourself in your mind that you are warm and relaxed.

  1. Curl your toes down hold (for 13 secs.) Feel the tension. Keep holding, then relax.
  2. Curl your toes up and hold for 13s. Feel the tension in your shin. Keep holding, then relax.
  3. Tell yourself  in your mind that you are warm and relaxed
  4. Tense your thighs and hold; keep holding,  then relax.
  5. Tense your tummy muscle (abdominals/six pack), hold, keep holding for 13s and then relax.
  6. Tell yourself that you are warm and relaxed.
  7. Make a fist with both hands and feel the tension in your forearms. Hold for 13 and then relax. Feel the relaxation.
  8. Push your shoulders up to your ears and hold for 13, then relax
  9. Tell yourself that you are warm and relaxed.
  10. Push your eyebrows up to the ceiling. Hold and then relax.
  11. Bring your eyebrows together as though you are scowling. Hold and then relax.
  12. Inside your mouth, push your tongue up behind your top set of teeth, hold and then relax. Repeat with front bottom set of teeth.
  13. Clamp your jaw shut and hold and then relax.
  14. Move on to breathing and visualisation.

Visualisation is very powerful – most of the connections you make in your head are the same as if you were doing the actual activity itself.  As part of your distraction techniques to combat addictive behaviour it is important to choose an enjoyable activity to visualise as the visualisation will reinforce that activity almost as much as doing it. For most people visualisation works better if you are relaxed first. This simple breathing exercise helps many people to get “see” their image more clearly by feeling more relaxed. PMR plus breathing is ideal but you may need simply do this breathing technique as it often does the trick.

Relaxation: Breathing Technique 1

  1. Sit comfortably, “grounded”, both feet on the floor.
  2. Place one hand on your belly/tummy and one on your chest.
  3. Now focus on your breathing, breathing just from your belly. If you are doing this well, your hand on your belly will move in and out, whilst the one on your chest will not move.
  4. Concentrate on your breathing, thinking about each breath and feeling your tummy moving in and out.
  5. Then, when you feel more relaxed, visualise/see yourself doing your chosen distraction activity. Make the pictures you see very bright and colourful. If you can, imagine the feeling and sounds of the activity.

Remember, as you practice, your automatic (addictive) patterns of behaviour are weakened and you start to develop positive associations. This takes time and you will sill have addictive cravings/ images or other things for a long time.

Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a range of issues including addictions. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .

Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. You are advised to seek specialist support for treatment for addictions. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.