Relationship Counselling in Newcastle

Relationships can bring immense joy into our lives – but also great unhappiness. If you have issues of infidelity or trust, considerations of divorce or separation, feelings of anxiety or depression, communication issues, or simply wanting to rediscover happiness or love, you may benefit from couples counselling. At Reflexions, our specialised relationship counselling in Newcastle and online offers you a safe space to navigate your way back to a fulfilling connection with your partner.

Unhappy couples have a greater chance of relationship breakdown or divorce, and lower levels of mental and physical well-being.

At Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy, we understand the need to develop and maintain strong, meaningful connections in intimate relationships. We have helped many couples improve their relationship quality and reconcile differences using well-proven therapeutic techniques.

Mini Video: Relationship Journey

Couple Counselling: Common Reasons to Start

“Couples therapy”, “relationship therapy” or “marriage counselling” are terms used interchangeably for the type of counselling where two people in an intimate relationship are seeking support. Therapy can be a helpful path to rebuild a mutually beneficial, trusting relationship after a difficult period, or also a way to seek assistance in resolving specific issues.

Alternatively, you may wish to enhance the quality of an already loving and supportive relationship. For example, looking to the future, a couple may wish to enhance their communication skills to prevent potential conflict as they plan to have children, and they feel this may put their relationship under pressure.

You may identify with one or more of the common difficulties listed below that lead individuals to seek couples therapy.

11 Key Reasons Couples Start Therapy

1. Feelings of frustration or anger with our partner.
2. Significant relationship conflict.
3. Infidelity and extra-marital affairs – trust issues.
4. The negative impact of our marriage or relationship on our mental and physical health.
5.  Depression resulting from our difficulties with our partner,
6. Commitment issues.
7. Family difficulties or issues in the extended family.
8. Grief or loss within your family.
9. Domestic abuse or an abusive relationship
10. Pre-marital counselling.
11. Separation and divorce.

However, if you want more detail see this guide:

Does Relationship Counselling Really Work?

Couples who completed a course of couples therapy scored on average 80-95% higher on relationship quality than those who were waiting for treatment.

Roddy

Many studies have explored whether couple therapy is successful or not. Recently, Roddy (2020) conducted a research which brought together a large group of research studies spanning several decades (meta-analysis). The findings were that couples who completed a course of couples therapy showed large, statistically significant, improvements in relationship quality indicators including communication, emotional intimacy, and partner behaviours compared to couples waiting to seek treatment.

Further Research shows that working with a relationship counsellor can help with a wide range of issues, reducing relationship distress and improving relationship quality. Other improvements included: emotional awareness, communication skills, understanding, intimacy, and overall relationship well-being.

Relationship Therapy: Key Benefits

Both individuals and couples within a therapy session often find solace simply in meeting an impartial, neutral professional within a safe space. Couples therapy can also help partners create healthy boundaries and win/win outcomes within their relationship.

It almost goes without saying, but whatever your sexual orientation, marital status, or background, and whether you choose to attend individually or with a partner the “therapy space” allows for the exploration and expression of feelings without the fear of judgment.

4 Key Benefits of Relationship Therapy:

1. Exploring patterns of behaviour and understanding their impact.
2. Developing more effective ways of relating to one another.
3. Enhancing communication skills, leading to positive changes in the relationship and in other aspects of life.
4. Learning techniques that foster long-term growth and reduce relationship conflict.

While it is also true that some relationships may reach a mutual decision to end, working on unresolved issues often strengthens commitment and fosters personal growth.

Understanding Relationship Behaviour Patterns

Relationships often become entangled in repetitive patterns of behaviour. This causes dysfunction to take root, leading to negative consequences, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and emotional turmoil. The origin of this behaviour may often be found in early attachment styles, often leaving us feeling lost or resentful. When partners find themselves feeling stuck, frustration grows, and the search for a solution becomes elusive.

To resolve this maladaptive behaviour, oftentimes the relationship therapist will help with the learning of new skills to enhance communication or facilitate behavioural change. This improves the couples relationship satisfaction, and creates a solid foundation for long-term success.

In your relationships with others, remember the basic and critically important rule: If you want to be loved, be lovable.

Denis Waitley

Resolving Relationship Conflict

In a marriage or relationship, couples always have differences of opinion. Although not every problem has a perfect solution, a supportive relationship therapist can offer a fresh perspective and provide the time needed to identify and resolve issues. This commonly strengthens the interpersonal bond and deepens relationship commitment.

If you are still undecided as to whether you would benefit from professional help, read this guide. Alternatively, there are some more self-help guides in the section at the bottom.

Couples Therapy: My Partner Won’t Attend

It is not unusual that one partner is unwilling or unable to attend couples counselling. Equally, the drive to attend is often more from one partner than the other. If you are facing this situation, it helps to be objective, assertive and direct, stating what the issues are as you see them, and how therapy would help the relationship. The alternative, where you mention how the relationship may suffer without change happening, is a more serious undertaking, and you might benefit from professional support.

However, even where only one person attends, an experienced relationship therapist will make use of proven counselling techniques to help individuals navigate their interpersonal challenges. The guidance and support of an qualified professional can shed light on the complexities of the relationship and provide valuable insights for personal growth.

Relationship Counselling Sessions: What Happens?

As with individual therapy, your first appointment is a time for you and your partner to speak confidentially about the issues within your relationship and what you want to achieve from therapy. Your couples counsellor will also address any worries or questions you may have around couples counselling.

The therapeutic process is supportive and non-judgemental, and is aimed at identifying and reconciling relationship issues. The areas dealt with are individual to the couple but often include those listed below:

8 Key Issues Discussed in Relationship Therapy

1. Your personal goals and expectations within and outside the relationship.
2. Shared couple objectives.
3. Consideration of your background, and what you have brought to the relationship from your own upbringing.
4. Value systems – religious, social and groups which influence behaviour.
5. Examination of family dynamics.
6. Assessment of your current relationship status and dynamics
7. Identification of the root causes behind the challenges you’re facing.
8. A practical examination of communication dynamics.

Seeking Counselling for Relationship: The Next Step

Taking the next step is straight forward: if you are struggling with issues in your relationship, or with your partner, we will work with you to help you to resolve them, allowing you to get back to enjoying your life again. Contact us to talk to one of our couples therapists about relationship counselling in Newcastle /online- Phone 01915805080 or email.

Resources and Self-Help for Relationship Counselling

Perhaps you just want to start to sort out some of the issues in your relationship right away? This comprehensive but brief guide to relationship will help you to Solve Relationship Problems & Resolve Conflict. Some great techniques to help you move forwards in your relationship are contained here.

Making Your Relationship Work
So you’ve decided that you would benefit from some professional help? Well, we wrote this handy guide as part of a series to help you to make your Couples Counselling work for you. Top-Ten Tips for Making your Couples Therapy Work

Chapman, G., The Five Languages of Love
A very interesting book which looks at how different partners often use different types of communication resulting in dissatisfaction. The ideas are simple but powerful none the less. May be worth the 30 seconds look at his video which makes the point in a romantic way. Five Love Languages Website

The Relate Guide to Better Relationships: Practical ways to make your love last, Livenhoff, S., (1998).
Couples can often loose their way in the relationship. Whilst some aspects of how we behave with our partners is based upon experiences earlier in life, a more pragmatic approach to relationship therapy, based upon core needs is essential for a partnership to endure and both partners to be happy. This approach was first advocated through Relate. This book still has relevance today as it is focussed on a practical approach aimed at helping relationships to be maintained through honest communication & problem-solving.

You Just Don’t Understand: Women and men in conversation
Deborah Tannen, Virago, 1992
Because men and women are socialised differently, couples can struggle to “speak the same language”. One of the elements of Relationship Counselling is often working through and improving communication. This book aims to improve verbal communication between the sexes.