Starting Couples Counselling Shows that You Care
This short article will help you to decide whether Couples Counselling and Relationship Therapy is right for you. Is it part of a short series. Part 2 is about making it work if you choose therapy and can be found here:Top-Ten Tips for Making your Couples Therapy Work
Will Relationship Counselling Benefit Our Relationship?
Although this is a question with no simple answer, first consider what is happening in your relationship. Perhaps you are experiencing the same issues over and over and can’t seem to sort them out? Or maybe you start to argue about the simplest things, but then the rows escalate into something altogether nastier.
Alternatively, it may be that in moments where you have time to think about your relationship, you start to feel that the only part keeping you together is your busy lives which help you avoid feeling stuck or bored in a relationship gone stale. Sometimes being cheated on – infidelity – is the driving force which brings you into therapy to deal with the hurt and lies and to rebuild the relationship.
Relationship Counselling is successful as it helps you to resolve areas that are difficult for you to discuss with your partner and resolve
Issues which are difficult include: sex, children, and in-laws to name a few. Of course there are many other reasons that make relationship counselling useful as it gives you tools and techniques in a positive setting allowing you to do move on and do things differently.
Beginning Couples Counselling
It is very common experience that starting couples counselling feels to be a big step: you may even have additional concerns because you are not deciding to come alone but with your partner. Sometimes it is the “scare” that even though the counselling environment is supportive, that you are going to have to expose your inner thoughts and hopes whilst your partner is ready to disagree with you. It might even be that you feel that the therapist will side with your partner. These feelings are very common to have but it is important to recognise that the therapist really is going to be working to your common interest as a couple and that this is agreed with you at the start of therapy.
Benefits of Relationship Therapy
If you decide on relationship counselling the benefits are great – indeed, it is often quicker than individual counselling. Sometimes you will get an immediate “feel good” as the therapy “kicks in” and you feel that you are getting your issues resolved. This may be down to a sense of relief that something is happening or even more significant is that you have both agreed that you are important enough and that each of you care about each other enough to work at making your relationship better.
Relationship counselling is certainly not an easy option as you need to have the desire and motivation to make things work. However, once you have made the commitment to therapy – and that really means to each other- you often find that you start to rekindle and generate the a mutually supportive environment that allows you to make the changes required to allow you to enjoy your relationship again.
Ken McLeish is Principal Therapist at Reflexions Counselling and Therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, England. Reflexions provides counselling and therapy for a range of issues including addictions. He can be contacted through the website: https://counselling-newcastle.co.uk .
Information contained in this blog is not a substitute for face-to-face therapy. It can only every be one view of a situation and may not be applicable to your situation. You are advised to seek specialist support for treatment for addictions. The work here is a personal view which may change over time and should not be taken as representative of Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy.
Ken McLeish BA DMS MBA MSc MSc Cert Ed UKCP Reg
Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy
Cuthbert House, NE6 5RD
More resources can be found on Reflexions Counselling and Psychotherapy Couples page:Couples Counselling Resources