Relationships bring great joy and happiness to our lives. However, they are often the cause of our unhappiness or dissatisfaction with life, bringing us pain, and feelings of loss and resentment. Relationship or Couples Therapy can help to get you back on track.
“The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation -- or a relationship.”
Deborah Tannen
Problems can arise when relationships get “stuck” in repetitive patterns of behaviour. It is when this behaviour has become dysfunctional, leading to negative consequences that the problems appear. In these circumstances, partners can become frustrated, feeling unable to find a solution. Research indicates that working with a couples counsellor will help you to get clarity about the key issues and help you to arrive at positive ways to resolve them.
Common Issues in Relationships and Couples Counselling :
Listed below are some of the more frequent issues that we help clients to resolve through our guidance.
- Feelings of frustration or anger
- Significant conflict
- Infidelity, extra-marital affairs
- The negative impact upon your health
- Depression
- Commitment
- Family difficulties
- Grief or loss
- Domestic abuse
- Pre-marital counselling
- Separation and divorce
Why will this Work for Me?
Both individuals or couples find that meeting with an impartial professional in a safe space allows them the freedom to think about and speak about their feelings without feeling judged.
Relationship counselling can help – no matter what your sexual orientation, marital status or background whether you want to attend by yourself or alongside a partner. Some clients need to work through a specific issue, whillst others may want to improve an ongoing relationship.
Sometimes partners simply need to be given the time in a different space with a supportive counsellor or therapist to facilitate them to identify the issues and resolve them. In other cases, the counsellor will teach one or both partners new skills, helping them to relate more effectively, or will help them with behavioural change.
In brief, the benefits of Couples Counselling or Marriage Guidance are to:
- Explore your patterns of behaviour
- Develop more effective patterns of relating
- Improve your communication skills which can positively affect your relationship and positively impact other aspects of your life.
- Learn techniques that work for you in the long-term.
Some Thoughts
In your relationships with others, remember the basic and critically important rule: If you want to be loved, be lovable.” Denis Waitley
Conflict is inevitable in all partnerships, but that doesn’t mean that you need to have suffering and pain. However, there is no perfect solution to all difficulties and on occasions you may come to a mutual decision to end the relationship. However, it is normal that working on your issues leads to greater commitment.
If Your Partner Can’t or Won’t Attend
If your partner can’t or won’t attend (very common), you can still work out your inter-personal issues with the help of an experienced therapist.
What is the Next Step?
If you want to resolve issues in your relationship, at Reflexions we can help you to make the changes that you want. Contact us and we will take it from there. Its very straight forward, just give us a call or email.
Book Online
Or email:
counsellor@counselling-newcastle.co.uk
Or phone: 0191 5805080
Resources
How Will You Benefit ?
Perhaps you are undecided as to whether you would benefit from professional help? Well, we wrote this guide as part of a series to help you to decide whether Couples work is right for you. Is Couples Counselling Right For You?
Making Your Relationship Work
So you’ve decided that you would benefit from some professional help? Well, we wrote this handy guide as part of a series to help you to make your Couples Counselling work for you. Top-Ten Tips for Making your Couples Therapy Work
Having Effective Boundaries
When one of the couple or both has poor boundaries it is a recipe for a difficult time as it leads to confusion and upset. This short article is about this aspect of your relationship. The Importance of Effective Boundaries in Your Relationship
Chapman, G., The Five Languages of Love
A very interesting book which looks at how different partners often use different types of communication resulting in dissatisfaction. The ideas are simple but powerful none the less. May be worth the 30 seconds look at his video which makes the point in a romantic way. Five Love Languages Website
Livenhoff, S., The Relate Guide to Better Relationships: Practical ways to make your love last, (1998).
Relate counsellors provide practical help which is aimed at helping relationships to be maintained through honest communication & problem-solving.
You Just Don’t Understand: Women and men in conversation
Deborah Tannen, Virago, 1992
The aim is to improve verbal communication between the sexes.
